At the core of every healing journey is one essential question: Do I feel safe to be here, in my body, in this moment?
For many of us, the answer is no. Not because we are doing something wrong, but because the body has learned, through experience, that it isn’t always safe to soften, rest, or feel.
The nervous system is the gateway.
It is where our trauma lives,
where our survival patterns are stored,
and where healing begins—not with thinking, but with listening.
Understanding the Nervous System
The nervous system is our body’s internal safety system. It is constantly scanning our environment for cues: Am I safe or not safe?
When we experience trauma, whether a single event or ongoing relational stress the nervous system shifts into survival mode.
This can look like:
• Fight or flight (anxiety, hypervigilance, restlessness, overworking)
• Freeze or collapse (numbness, fatigue, depression, shutdown)
• Fawn (people-pleasing, abandoning self, appeasing others)
These responses are not weaknesses. They are intelligent adaptations. They are how your body protected you when you didn’t feel safe enough to stay connected. But healing asks something new: Not to override these responses, but to honour them and slowly show your body that it is safe to come home.
What Trauma Does to the Body
Trauma isn’t just what happened.
It’s what happened inside you as a result.
It can disconnect you from your breath, your sensations, your instincts.
It can cause your body to brace for impact, even when the danger is gone.
You might:
• Feel constantly on edge
• Struggle to rest
• Disconnect during intimacy or conflict
• Live with a sense of numbness or shutdown
• Experience sudden waves of emotion without knowing why
All of this is the body doing its best to protect you. But over time, it becomes exhausting to live in survival. This is why nervous system healing is so foundational. Because no amount of mindset work or positive thinking will land if the body still believes it is not safe.
A Gentle Approach to Regulation
In my work, we do not force regulation. We invite it—slowly, kindly, consistently. Here are some practices I use with clients and in my journal to support nervous system healing:
1. Orienting to Safety
Look around the space you’re in. Name five things you see, three things you hear, and one thing you can feel. Remind your body: I am here. I am safe.
2. Grounding Through the Senses
Hold something textured. Smell something earthy or calming. Run warm water over your hands. Use your senses to bring you into the present moment.
3. Vagal Toning
Humming, gentle rocking, long exhales, or placing a hand on your chest and belly can stimulate the vagus nerve and shift you toward calm.
4. Co-regulation
Sometimes, we can’t regulate alone. Being with a trusted person, therapist, or even pet can help your system settle.
5. Body-Led Journaling
Before writing, pause and feel. Ask: What is alive in my body today? What needs to be expressed, softened, witnessed?
Why This Matters in Therapy
Many clients arrive in therapy with a deep longing to feel better but feel frustrated when talking about the problem doesn’t bring relief. That’s because trauma isn’t healed only through insight. It’s healed through felt experience through creating new pathways in the body that say, “It’s safe now. You don’t have to brace anymore.”
In my integrative sessions, we work not just with story, but with the nervous system.
With your breath. Your body. Your inner rhythms. Because healing is not just about remembering what happened it’s about creating a new experience of being with yourself.
An Invitation
If you feel disconnected, reactive, or like your body is carrying more than your mind can process, you are not alone.
And you are not broken.
Your system has been trying to keep you safe.
Now it is ready to be supported, held, and gently rewired for safety and rest.
Through one-on-one work and The Muse Journal, I offer spaces to explore this journey at your own pace, in your own rhythm, with deep respect for your body’s wisdom.
Come slowly. Come softly.
Come home.
With love, Sahar Zadah
